She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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