your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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