You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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