just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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