I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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