Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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