Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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