It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
