So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
