Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Randomize
