I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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