No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
