opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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