i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
