She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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