Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
