I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
