My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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