glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
