halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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