i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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