i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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