For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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