Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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