He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
