it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
