"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize