does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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