You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
