How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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