Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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