Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
