I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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