I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
