Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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