Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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