please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
