you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
