Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
