Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
