I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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