Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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