So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
