so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
