thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
