did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
