how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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