so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
