I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize