Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
