bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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