don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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