just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
