meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
