So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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