You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nicole vs. Life
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
