where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
