I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He felt like a one man threesome
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
