I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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