Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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