is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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