At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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